I'm going to marry this fellow..

[Kayci]

If you're planning on turning us in... uuuuuuhhm... It was all Tony. I just went along. In other news, I've decided to marry Taylor Goldsmith of Simon Dawes instead. He gives an awesome live performance, if you ever get a chance to see them, even if broken down-garage-rock isn't your sort of thing, I'd take it. They're really charismatic and goofy. Simultaneously.

[Temanin]

Right, it was all Tony...*writes that down*

And ya know what? I've never heard of him. Sorry... Now I have something to ask Google!

[Tony]

*looks at Kayci while holding the rope and duct tape*

I had just got all of our required supplies, too! You know what? I'm going to abduct him anyway.

[Kayci]

They're pretty small, they only have an indie record label at the moment, which is probably why you haven't heard of them, though that dude at TRL thinks they're the "next big thing." I loooove them. Salute the Institution is one of my favorite songs ever. They're so fun on stage and they really involve the crowd.

We could always abduct someone else. Like whoever created these nasty "lime and cracked pepper" potato chips my mom just passed off on me. They are gross. We'd be doing humanity a favor. Or Joseph freaking Kony. Then we'd truly be doing humanity a favor.

[Tony]

I don't care who we abduct, just as long as it is someone.

[Temanin]

Just out of curiosity, did you kidnap anybody? I haven't seen anything on the news, but then I've been busy.

[Tony]

>_>

...no. I have not kidnapped anyone.

Now excuse me while I have to go and cook up some gruel for . . . my . . . uh . . . friend.

[Temanin]

*manic spazzing, pointing, gasping, etc.* You can't fool me, for I know the truth! You don't even know how to make gruel!

[Tony]

Okay, so maybe it's not gruel. It's actually oatmeal.

[Temanin]

Heh, thought you could fool me. But once again, I was too quick for you! Now please go, we don't want your friend to be hungry.

[Kayci]

Geez Tony, way to give us up. You know what this means right? This means we have to kidnap him too so he won't snitch. Do you know how much oatmeal we're going to go through?

[Temanin]

More than you know. I really like oatmeal.

[Tony]

But what about oatmeal . . . with raisins! Da da duh!

[Kayci]

They're prisoners; gross dried-out fruit is too much of a luxury. Weevils are the best they're getting. And.. I found weevils or some other little bug in our flour which we never use the other day. It was gross. The neighbor child came over requesting a cup of a flour (the only time this cliche neighborly thing has ever occurred in my life), and I opened it and was like "Ahh.. I don't think you're going to want this."

[Tony]

*laughs*

You should have given him a cup of flour anywhere. His mother could have him pick out the bugs as a chore.

You know, we stopped buying my dog Purina One because we started finding little bugs in her food and she started to get diarrhea. They also changed one of the bits of food and it was more yellow/orange. We switched her food and now she's better.